Phillies Phare: (Vegan) Phucking Schmitters

Here in Souf' Philly, there is only one thing that people love more than their sports teams: their cheesesteaks.  But, yeah, the vegan cheesesteak has been done.  For today's game, I wanted to tackle a sandwich that is close to every Phil's Phan's heart: the SCHMITTER (not named after Mike Schmidt).  Behold:

When you're taking in a game at Citizen's Bank Park, if you're not eating a hot dog, you're eating a Schmitter.  If you're vegan, you're chowing down on some of MLB's best vegan- friendly ballpark food: hotdogs, cheesesteaks, chicken cheesesteaks, crab cakes, or some of those ballin' crab fries.  To die for, yes, but... I wanted a Schmitter.

The (Vegan) Schmitter

Hell yeah!

 Ingredients:

-Kaiser rolls

-Vegan salami deli slices

-Vegan cheese slices

- One tomato, sliced 

- One small yellow onion

- One container of seitan

- 1 tablespoon soy sauce

- 2 tablespoons Extra Virgin Olive Oil

- 2 teaspoons Liquid Smoke 

"Cheese Whiz:"

(I interpreted this from a friend's recipe for nacho cheese) 

- 1/4 cup nutritional yeast

 - 1/5 cup flour 

- 2 tablespoons cornstarch 

- 1 cup water 

- 2 tablespoons vegan butter

- 1 teaspoon yellow mustard 

- 2 cloves garlic

- A few shakes onion powder and garlic salt

- 1/2 teaspoon salt

- 1/4 teaspoon pepper 

"Special Sauce:"

(I had two ideas for this: "Big Mac" or Russian.. I went more in the "Big Mac" direction)

 - 1/4 cup Vegannaise 

- 2 tablespoons French dressing

 - 2 tablespoons sweet relish 

-1 teaspoon sugar 

- 1 teaspoon minced onion

 - 1 teaspoon white vinegar

 - 1 teaspoon catsup

 - 1 teaspoon salt 

Method: 

(There are a lot of short steps to this.  I just did each thing on it own, and made an "assembly line" of ingredients on the counter.  You can multi-task or skip around, if you'd like.)

- Start with your "Special Sauce."  It's really easy!  Just wisk everything in a small bowl, cover, and refrigerate!   

- Make the seitan marinade.  Wisk together the soy sauce, EVOO, and Liquid Smoke in a wide, shallow bowl.  Drain the seitan, rinse, and soak in the marinade.  If you want to be authentic, chop it up!  Cover, and place in the 'fridge.  

- "Cheese Whiz" time!  Wisk the dry ingredients and water in a saucepan over medium heat.  Once it begins to bubble, turn to low heat, and wisk in the mustard and vegan butter.  Once you have a smooth sauce (it will thicken), turn off the heat and set aside.

- Fried onion time!  Slice half of the onion, cut in half, and saute with 2 tablespoons canola oil over medium heat.  Place cooked onions on a plate with a few paper towels- might as well save a few calories...

- I really, really wanted to char the salami and seitan on the grill.  But, it was raining.  So, I fried them.  Grab a small frying pan and coat with canola oil.  Fry the salami over medium heat.  I used three slices for each sandwich.  It will cook fast, so don't step away! 

- Again, I was super bummed about not being able to char-grill my seitan.  I did my next favorite thing, and cooked it in a wok.  Basically, you just want to brown the seitan.  As with the other steps, throw in a little canola oil and saute over medium heat. 

- At this point, you should put your buns in the oven to lightly toast.

- Assembly!  Take a look at that first photo, and follow the directions!:)  From the bottom: bottom bun, vegan cheese slice, seitan "steak", fried onions,  tomato slices, "cheese whiz," grilled salami, "special sauce," top bun.

Grab your Schmitter, pop a koozie on your jawn, and toast to the P-H-I-L-L-I-E-S!  BEAT SF!